In so many situations your brain goes“no,no,no” and then your mouth blurts out "yes"
If you are struggling with saying "no" this Article is for You 💯
Keep saying Yes to everyone and to everything can hold you back from living the life you want. Spend more time on doing other people's tasks and work can
make you exhausted, stressed and irritable. Spending hours worrying over how to get out of an already-promised commitment or to waist your energy to do something you don't like and on the expense of your own time. While you need that energy and time to focus on your own goals and dreams.
Everone has experienced this struggle in a certain stage in lifetime due to several reasons. Here is why do you keep saying yes.
➡️ You care about your image fronted others. (Fake ego)
➡️ You are afraid to loose that person if you say no (family, a friend, boss..)
➡️ As a child you were raised in certain way that made you believe that by pleasing others you are "a good person" and vice versa! So you are now an adult who's pleasing everyone else except himself !(Conditional love)
Example: if you don't clean your room, you're a bad person./ If you want (mummy, Teacher) to love you, do this or that!
🙄Okay Abir I get the idea, now what's the solution? 🤔
Well, let me tell you that you need to change your mindset. It's a process that needs to be done. You have to be patient and courageous. At the beginning, people might be chocked by the new version of you. They won't accept it, so they will try to make fun of you ,call you a selfish... you may here phrases like I used to appreciate you or I used to respect you.
Just ignore all that and do not try to justify or explain.
Your respect and value haven't fallen only you did not serve there interests and needs. Exploited person will see it from this perspective. Conversely the person who appreciates you, will understand your refsual and accept it.
Ways to say "No"
💡 If you want to say no, be firm and direct. Use phrases such as “Thanks for coming to me but I’m afraid it’s not convenient right now” or “I would love to help but I can’t.” Try to be strong in your body language and don’t over-apologize. Remember, you’re not asking permission to say no.
💡Buy yourself some time. Replace the ‘yes’ by using phrases like “I’ll get back to you by a text” " I'll let you know, I've to check my schedule". Then consider your options. Giving yourself time to think will make you able to say no with greater confidence.
💡Consider a compromise. Only do so if you want to agree with the request, but have limited time or ability to do so. Suggest ways forward to suit both of you. Avoid compromising if you really want to say no.
💡Separate refusal from rejection. Remember you’re turning down a request, not a person. People usually will understand that it is your right to say no, just as it is their right to ask the favor.
💡If you're a parent,don’t feel guilty for saying no to your children. It is important for them to hear no from time to time so that they develop a sense of self-control. let them be aware of real life boundaries.
💡Be true to yourself. Be clear and honest with yourself about what you truly want and can do. It might be hard at the beginning but practice makes it easier.